Febrile Fitz # 5
Hullo, and welcome to another look at the nightmares in David ‘Fitz’ Fitzgerald’s damaged brain – the never-popular TSW monkey cum Evening Herald scribe.
This week’s effort once again boasts an appearance by The Enemy (his wife) and is a good column for fans of Rainman-like diatribes against vegetables. Crazy like a fox!
FEBRILE FITZ # 5
ONE BUNNYHOP: “My god! Now I understand the full severity of global warming. The European courgette crop has failed!”
TWO BUNNYHOPS: “You can stick your courgettes where the sun don’t shine. Courgettes are sh*t!”
THREE BUNNYHOPS: “The only reason people buy them is to impress. The Enemy places packs of them right on top of the shopping so the entire store can see.”
FOUR BUNNYHOPS: “While we are on the subject… marrows! What is the point! Ding dong. ‘Would you like a marrow?’
No I bloody wouldn’t.”
FIVE BUNNYHOPS: “Hang on, there’s the doorbell. God, I hope it’s the Jehovah Witnesses.”
Oh, Fitz, you are a one.
Posted by Thin White Duke
August 15th, 2006